37

Thirty six years are gone.  I feel like I've already lived an entire lifetime.  For the very few people that understand me, you understand the choices I make.  Some decisions are easier to make than others.  Every once in a while we face those "lights out" decisions.  Decisions that can and will alter the lives of many.  Those are the toughest decisions we face.......The ones that hurt the most.

I've made some of those "lights out" decisions in the past.  Some of them turned out okay......Some, not so much.  Ultimately, I carry the weight of my choices on my back, and hope for the best.  People hurt over the choices I make sometimes, but no one carries more pain than me.  I try to do what's best for everyone involved.  If anyone is going to be unhappy when it's all said and done......I want it to be me.

As my 36th year comes to an end, I would like to share my birthday wish with everyone.  I know that I'm not supposed to do that, but since I don't believe in that shit anyhow, I figured it's okay.  Honestly, this is the first birthday wish that I really do want to come true.  In years past, I couldn't remember my wish the very next day.

I wished that everyone would take me for who I am.  I'm not always right.  Forgive me when I'm wrong.  I wished that everyone that holds a special place in my heart, would never forget the man they love.  From my wife, my kids, and my family, to the most special friends in my life.....You're special to me because you gave me a chance.  You chose to overlook the many flaws that I have.  I wished for peace to those I've hurt.

I always have the intent to infect people with my goodness.  It doesn't always work out.  I guess sometimes we need to renegotiate.......change the facts.  Maybe I need to grow some balls.  Nikki Sixx wrote, "If you obey every time someone says you can't do this or you must do that, you will become the person you NEVER WANTED to be." 

I just want to be a good man.  I want to follow my dreams.  I want to surround myself with people that inspire me......that make me right.  I think I've done a pretty good job with that.  For those of you that "get me," please stick around.  I'm sure I've failed all of you in some way or another.  Just remember that nothing is written in stone.......until we die.  -blink